In the Shadows of a Lie
by Van the Key of Lain
Summary: Hidden in even the most aloof of people, can a tainted past lye, even if the bearer has forgotten it himself, living in the lie he created. And throughout their adventure thus far, his love only grows yet he's never spoken her name. Couples run wild
1. The Beginning of Forgetting

Once again I am here to bring you a story of new. This one is set in the Xenosaga universe: being that is my current obsession right now.

And I will say write now that 85 percent of this fic is complete fictional speculation; based on in tiny factor repeated over and over in the game. 10 is actual fact and the last 5 percent are would-be spoilers. Depends on how much about Episode II you know of.

Warnings: This fic has many elements of violence (to human and non-human, and some child neglect) and romance. It's threatening and romantic. It's Threatmantic! w Yay Violence! XD lmao

Sydney: sighs She needs to stop quoting that cartoon

Leon: No shit. Oh, uhm, swearing is in it too. As you can see...

Sydney: Yes, quite. . . and we all do not own Xenosaga, as it is owned by a much more powerful entity... well, maybe not as powerful as me

Leon: Get off it man, go play with that Ashley guy you talk about all the time...

Sydney: Insolent fool.. swipes his iron like claw gloves at Leon

Leon: ACK, We don't own this and it's all for fun, so start this damn fic already! dodges

Xenosaga

In the Shadows of a Lie

Running was all he ever did now. Run away, and don't look back. If you don't look back, she won't find you. They won't find you. Run as fast and as far...

His legs buckled under the stress and couldn't take anymore pressure. The boy slide on the ground, scuffing into the dirt and grass below him. Taking a moment to look around, he realized where he had come to. It was his little sanctuary.

Not that it was all that special, but it was beautiful. A clear lake; seemingly untouched, was a few feet before him. All around him where giant trees and foliage, all the most minty green one could think of. There was a light fog masking around the area, but other than that one could think this place was surreal.

This was his secret place. No one else ever came here - mostly because it was quite a ways away from the main part of the city, and because it seemed no one cared for such beauty. However, to a young boy as himself, it was a gift from the heavens. A place only he could go and only he could make known if he wished. His own private piece of paradise. Getting up, he walked over to the lake shore, and fell to his knees, looking at his reflection. There was a fast forming under his right eye, and a visible hand print along the side of his neck where he had been grabbed. He couldn't see them, but he could feel the rest of the bruises and tender skin along his back and upper arms.

He hated being so week. He hated being only eight. If he were older, he could do something more. He also hated being. . .

Different.

Years ago, humanity had made an advancement in creating a breed of 'human' like people called realiens. Realiens were different, and because of that, they were shunned by society - and even still now. He shook his head, thinking that no matter how much things changed, there will always be prejudice amongst humanity. He didn't think Realiens where anything to fear. If anything, he envied them, for they could do things he couldn't. But still they too were different, like himself, and right now, different meant. . .

Disgusting.

He plunged his hands into the water and brought it to his face. There was a small cut he had missed that stung for a quick second as the water washed over it. A little of it seeped out, and he wiped it off. Looking back at his reflection, a morbid thought crossed him: would his hair ever be this tainted red, matted by his own sticky substance? Washing it off, he mental smacked himself. He would not sink like that, no; he had to escape first. He had to get out of here first and find a place of peace. However, that option didn't exist for him. He was only eight, and trying to get onto a shuttle by himself was ludicrous at best.

' Where is your mother and father?' they would ask him.

And of course he would search frantically for someone - anyone - with some remote type of orange reddish hair. And of course, being that was uncommon among his luck, he'd be escorted off and taken to a room; and an hour later, he'd be taken away by _her_. She was the cause of his pain; his suffering. He couldn't understand why she hurt him, why she would seek out to do him physical harm. Was he just not worth living? Was it because he was different?

Something caught his attention and he felt fear seize him. He could feel someone's gaze catch his figure, could hear them coming up towards him fast. He didn't want to turn around. It was her and he knew it. She had found his private sanctuary and it was going to be destroyed. She would take it away from him. Before he could react, a hand grabbed his shoulder and roughly turned him. Dark grayish-green eyes pierced through him with some kind of blind hate. The dark brownish auburn hair fall behind her as it settled, all save a long strand left dangling in front of her right ear.

Before he could open his mouth, the all to familiar throbbing pain spread through his face, and he felt himself fall once again to the earthen floor. At one time, the throbbing was accompanied by a stinging sensation; but not anymore. He was far to use to her strikes that it was now nothing more than a dull throb. However she knew this, and that's why she had begun to do more that strike him. He went to get up, and that was his mistake. He felt a sharp kick to his side, and he cried out.

No. No no no... why did he cry out! Why?! NO!

Again another kick and a cry.

Again.

Again.

He whimpered and bit his lip. The blood taste was a bit soothing to him. Somewhere in his mind his conscience was relaying the words being shouted at him, but he neither heard them or their meaning. All he knew is that he had to get her to stop. He flexed his muscles tight and laid stiff, daring not to make a sound. He focused his breathing so his body wouldn't rise. After a few moments, the kicking stopped. The pain was throbbing, but ebbing away. He heard the footfalls step back a bit. He heard her speaking again and this time the words didn't fall upon deaf ears.

" . . .And if you ever, EVER, say my name again, I will make it hurt more. You understand me?! You will respect me, you little freak."

Something in him at that moment force him to be bold. He hated being called that; hated being reminded he was different. Pushing past the pain, his body sub-consciously picked itself up and he turned to face her in an angry heat. He shouted at her a forceful 'No!' and waved his arm in an arch. Something not completely unseen cause the girl to be shoved back, and fall onto the ground. She looked up at the boy from her spot and saw a few tendrils of red light circle around him lazily. Instead of causing her fear, which is what he hoped for, it fueled her anger even more. She got up fast and lunged at him a punch to the left side of his face, and a kick to his ribs in his fall. He fell into the muddy bank of the river. The light vanquished quickly, and his bright eyes dimmed slightly.

" Pull that shit again, and you'll wish you never had."

The boy laid there in the muddy waters, the rippling calm soothing his ache. The footfalls registered to him that she was leaving his private paradise. He was all to happy. This was his place, not hers. His place, and his only. No one else could have it. He lifted his head for a moment. No, he would find someone he could share it with. He'd always been told that sharing made people happy. But could he risk it? What if he did and then they turned on him? No, he didn't want to think about it. He wanted to drift, to feel weightless.

Moving up slowly, he crawled into the lake until he could no longer feel the bottom. He turning and faced the sky, drifting across the top of the lake. The sky looked so peaceful. And at night, the stars were so bright and pristine from here. Right now, though, he could just make out a few of the brighter stars and the nearest planet. Moving his arm, he reached up with his hand and made as if to touch the stars.

" I want to be there. I want to be out there." His eyes, which mirrored the blue of the water he drifted into, began to form tears that spilt over and added to the lake. He briefly wondered how much of this lake was his own tears, before dropping his hand with a small splash, and letting the tears come openly. Time for him was still a this moment. That moment belong to himself and his tears, until he felt empty and refreshed.

It lasted until the sky was dark, and full of new stars for him to see. He gazed mystified at them all. The expression on his face was one of blank yearning. Somehow he had come to the conclusion, long before, that place above him among the stars, was where he needed to go. To be. Yet he knew the picture was a false one. There were many thing out there far more lethal there than here. But here, there was only this place to hide. Out there, he knew, was limitless.

His expression grew subtly into fear. What if they found out he was different? What if they rejected him like they do the Realiens? What if they saw him as some sort of. . of. .

Freak.

His heart pulsed faster and he pushed himself under the lake's surface, letting out a muffled scream, and wrapping around himself. He was not going to have his new place taken from him! Never!

' I want to be normal. I want to be normal. I want to be normal. I don't want to be like this. I don't want to be like this!'

He ran the same thoughts over and over in his mind, screaming it sometimes at points. His lungs betrayed him and he kicked to the surface, inhaling the air, and unintentionally shouting out:

" I WANT TO BE NORMAL!"

His words echoed around him. The last one repeating softy, over and over, as if mocking him. He sunk back down until the water met his chin. He sobbed softly to himself. Fresh tears brimmed his closed eyes.

" Someone. . .please save me. Take me away. . .take me away."

" It will take time. "

He turned quickly towards the voice. His heart pulse wildly. Who had betrayed his private sanctuary? He looked to the shore along the small wooden dock. There was a young girl sitting on the very edge, her legs dangling over. She seemed to be giving off her own light. The girl watched him as the boy swam near her.

" Who-Who are you? "

" Someone passing by, whom heard your cry."

He looked at her intently. She was very pretty - but in the simplest way. Her long bright orange hair fell behind her neatly and her eyes - which seemed just a tiny darker than his own blue - seemed so full of a greater knowledge; he knew she must have been something special.

" Are you different, like me? "

" Yes, but in more than one way."

"Oh."

He waded up to the shore and removed himself from the water. Looking briefly at his body, he was reminded of an old saying, something about a thing called a 'prune'. Taking off his shirt and ringing it out, he walked slowly onto the small dock, and stood before the girl.

" Can I. . .sit here?"

" Yes."

He sat down quickly. He knew he was showing this girl the part of himself that no one else got to see; mostly because we was always on guard and afraid. He looked up and debated inside himself whether to be bold or wait.

" I know what you're thinking."

" But how. . ?" His eyes widened.

She smiled, but answered him with his previous unspoken question.

" You will be saved, but it will take some time. You will be saved a few times, each time more different than the last. You mustn't give up hope, no matter how hard you struggle."

The boy nodded and was about to ask something else, but the girl smiled again and replied before him.

" Do you really wish to be normal, Llean?"

His eyes widened. She HAD to be something special. She had called him by named, which he had not given.

" Yes. I want to be. I don't want to be like this anymore. I don't want to be treated like a freak."

" Do you realize what you have, makes you special; even unique?"

" It's a burden and I don't want to be special! Not if it's like this. . ."

A moment of silence past by. Llean didn't know what to expect from the girl at this point.

" I can't rid you of your burden, but, I can make it go away; for a very long time."

Llean's eyes grew bright, and his face contorted into a goofy hopeful smile. He hadn't felt this good in months.

" Yes, I would like that! I would be happy. It's more than anything I could have thought!"

" Alright, but I will require from you a favor."

" Anything, I promise. You're being so good to me; I'll try hard to do anything for you."

" That won't be necessary. It is quite simple really."

" Yes?"

" That you listen to me sing?"

His eyes lit up brightly and he jumped up, taking the girls hands into his.

" I promise! You can sing as much as you want, and I promise I will listen!"

The girl smiled, and closed her eyes. Llean waited to hear her sing, but instead felt a rush run through him. He felt as if something inside him was being pulled into a small recess of his chest, and as quickly as it had spread through him, he felt a small clasp like prick in his chest. The girl opened her eyes and smiled to him, letting go of his hands and stepping backwards.

Llean sat in awe as the girl began to sing.


	2. A Moments Peace Interrupted

We proceed with the fic sorry no note today. - Heh, but as par usual, I don't  
own Xenosaga

- - Xenosaga - -  
In the Shadows of a Lie

For over two years, a ritual had been created; woven into the fabric of a now ten year old boy's life. While everything else had remained unchanged, this one thing created a new sense of hope. A new sense of dream. Since that day, he would come back the following date, and wait on the little dock. Sometimes she would appear, while other times, she would not. Even if she didn't show up in person, he knew she was somehow there.

He could feel her there. It was her spirit.

And she would always leave him the song.

It was so hard to explain, but he figured it was like you were suddenly told everything and nothing - how it was all and not. How it was the end and the beginning. Then again, it was none of that. No, it was more like being surrounded by a clear body of perfectly warm water. You could float, and feel everything, and it spread all over you. It took away all pain, so there was none. Sometimes he'd get dizzy off of it and start to laugh. The song would fade when that happened, though. He wasn't sure why, but at least it would end on a positive note.

Scampering up to the dock, he stopped short of the edge, falling to his knees and inhaling quickly. He'd ran all the way just to get there on time. He was a little ragged from the foliage he'd brushed past, and he seemed to have a newer bruise forming around his temple. Yet the joyous look that appeared in his eyes as he lifted them towards the lake overshadowed everything else to him. His smile widened and grew bright as her form appeared at the edge of the dock. Moving a bit closer, he sat down and waited for her song to come.

The girl saw the longing in his eyes, and shook her head slowly; her expression one of remorse.

" I can no longer let you hear my song Llean."

Llean's eyes registered a faint shock, and he found his voice.

" Why! I haven't broken my promise! I've come every month of this

day-"

" That is only one reason why. There are others, now, who must hear my song."

Llean furrowed his brow. Why should anyone else here _his _song? Take _his _pleasure away?

" If I were to sing to you now, my song would not give you what you seek, anymore. You've heard my song in truth, and for such a time. It would corrupt you now."

" No! You just want the others to hear it! Don't let them! It's -"

" It is not your song anymore."

Llean felt his breath catch in his chest, and a ping stopped him in his stance.

" I am sorry, Llean. I can no longer come back here."

"What!" Llean's chest tightened as he heard her speak.

" I can only survive like this, for a short period of time. I am only needed elsewhere. I will not be coming back."

" You're leaving me, just like that! WHY!"

" I am sorry -"

" If you're sorry then don't leave me!"

Llean cried out angrily, but felt himself break down inside. He was up before he realized; he reached out, and held the girl in a tight embrace.

" Please don't leave me. . . Please don't. . . I don't want to be left again. . ."

The girl waited a moment, before slipping smoothly from the other and stepping back slowly.

" You must never give up hope, Llean. Never give up faith."

Knowing he couldn't have it his way, he resigned to fate, that she had to go.

" Will I ever see you again?"

" It is unlikely, yet, the future is not cast in stone. One small wave in a lake, moves across the surface, changing that surface, even if for a short time."

Llean held the words close; set to worry only later what they meant. As he fought back the urge to follow her slowly retreating form, a thought crossed his mind. He had no idea why it never came to him before.

" What is your name!" He shouted out.

" You will know. . . when the time is right."

With those last words, the girls form began to fade before him. He could feel her spirit fading away from him, and her song being taken from his mind.

" No! Please! Come back to me!"

She watched as the boy reached out to her, crying out, until she was no longer there. Everything about her was gone; her spirit, her song and herself. It was as if she never existed.

And alone once again, Llean Ridgeley cried out in the quiet dark night of his sanctuary.

- -Xenosaga- -

Shion Uzuki awoke with a start from her slumber. Quickly registering the time, which was too early in the morning, she looked quietly around her currently lodgings. It was the quarters of the Elsa, which were quite large in her opinion. However, she did have another room mate sleeping among the other bed; whom happened to be giddily mumbling in her sleep. Shion yawned a moment before getting startled once again by a giddy cheer from the other girl. Apparently, MOMO was having a very good dream.

' Well that explains that shrilly noise' Shion thought to herself, grinning slightly.

Being back on the Else- even if it was just for this 'sleepover' type gathering; made Shion feel a bit of a stronger bond with all these people she'd come to know and care for. Not all of the team could make it, however- one being Jr. who had a lot of work to attend to; KOS-MOS was of course still at the Vector Second R&D headquarters. But everyone else had been able to make it. There was a small party- mostly a gratuitous occasion of thanks. There had been a little fun as well; and at that, Shion chuckled to herself, and closed her eyes- shaking her head. Allen had best stay away from too much alcohol.

Stretching for a moment, the young woman looked about her room. While she hadn't had any real trouble sleeping, she hadn't had an exactly pleasant one either. As if making the decision for her, her stomach rumbled quietly, pleading for nourishment. Reaching to her nightstand, Shion adorned her glasses, and moved herself out from her bunk. Slipping on an over robe and a pair of slippers, she padded quietly through the ship until reaching the kitchen.

Shion had no problem of nibbling on something this early, or late, in the morning. However, she had a problem if all she could find was curry. Fried Curry, Curry Lo-mien, Curry Mu-Shuan...

' Mental note. . . learn how to make something that is not, indeed, Curry.'

She mentally be raided herself, and about gave up the endeavor when something caught the corner of her eye. Upon further inspection, she made a tiny cheer, for it was something that was defiantly not curry. Taking the plate, as there wasn't much left, she heated up the morsel - which started looking really good - and finally padded over to the restaurant. Sliding in the first booth, she relaxed and stabbed at a considerable portion.

' Things lately. . . have been crazy; though I have a funny feeling something else is waiting for us out there. There are still just too many questions and unresolved issues for me to be too relaxed. For now I guess I can be. . .

Shion paused as her eyes met the booth seat in front of her, noting an obscured article of clothing folded over the back. No matter how you folded it, or crumpled it, anyone could recognize a Vector uniform any day. Sometimes she felt they were kind of gaudy, but then again, she'd see much worse.

' Ah, Allen must have forgotten it again, what with all the hassle around this ship these past few weeks. Not surprised really, since he's been zoning in and out over this week. I mean things have been looking up fo- Oh my god, this is so good!'

Shion's train of thought was broken by the intake of the non-curry meal, and it's apparently wonderful taste.

' This is such a good change for once. What is this. . . . fish? '

Taking another bite and reaching for her glass, Shion rolled her eyes at her lack of conduct. Pushing the plate forward a bit, she slid out of her seat and trotted back to retrieve her drink.

" . . . then she said, 'Stay by me', and I told her, we could be-"

Stepping into the restaurant Allen became quiet as he in took the aroma of food. Looking to the booth he'd previously occupied, he rose an eyebrow at the heated plate of food sitting just in the middle.

" How did. . . no, never-mind. I've seen too many stranger things far worse than this."

Moving over he grabbed up his uniform top, and then took up the fork, spearing a nice size piece, while swiping it in the sauce. Taking a bit and returning the fork, he moved off to put away his uniform, and to return finishing the food.

' Eh. . .forego the paprika and stick with basil. Oh wait; better yet - garlic.'

His thoughts carried with him and new recipes as he went out the door again; and once again, Shion emerged from the kitchen, glass in hand, sipping lightly at the drink. She reached down, placing it on the table and paused for a moment.

' I didn't think I'd eaten that much of it already; gosh I'm being such a pig. Oh well, no one will miss -'

She had moved her line of vision up slightly.

' Wasn't Allen's uniform just there a moment ago? I could have sworn -'

Shion pinched the bridge of her nose, stopping all thought in her mind. She exhaled a moment and turned back to the kitchen.

' I need some AIF.'

Fate seemed to be having an amusing time with her, or maybe it was the paranormal; or who knows what, for as she returned to her -now smaller meal- a very bright white towel was draped across from her and she distinctly remembered she hadn't drank that much of her tea.

" AGH! Can't I have a normal meal without having to worry about unseen phenomenon taking it away from me?"

She growled and plunged the fork into a large piece of said meal, and took it in one bite - for all she knew it could disappear off her plate right then and there, so she horded it greedily.

" And here I thought someone was pampering me." Allen spoke softly from behind the zealous woman; whom in reply jumped slightly with a muffled 'Mm!' She felt a tinge of embarrassment wondering if she'd been seen eating with such un-coordination.

Allen slide in the booth across from her, a small but noticeable smirk plastered his features; to which Shion feigned an annoyed look.

" So you're the one who's been eating my food, and stealing my drink."

" Technically, my food, and sorry about the drink." He gave a sheepish chuckle.

Shion rose an eyebrow at the remark before it clicked. She had been wanting something that wasn't Curry so badly, and upon finding said non Curry dish, hasn't thought it could have been someone else's.

" Oh. I'm sorry, Allen. I wasn't thinking. . . once again."

" It's alright. That was just left over from what I cooked a little while ago. No need to apologize."

" You made this?" She sucked on the fork for a moment, intrigued.

" Yeah. I usually cook when I'm bored and hungry. I can make a lot of things; you name it."

" That's so wonderful." She smiled lightly.

" Yeah, well. . . as much as I can make well, there's one thing that no matter how hard I try it never comes out right."

" What is it?"

Allen grinned widely to himself.

" If I tell you you'll laugh, and taunt me."

" I would not!"

" Sure you would. You'd laugh, and mock me and never let me live it down."

" I would do no such thing, Allen Ridgeley. I'm hurt you say that."

Allen smirked a bit more as she mentioned his name. God, that felt so good. His smile grew slightly more and he shook his head.

" Ok, Ok, I'll tell you - but you promise not to laugh, right?"

" I promise." She nodded and gave a smile.

" No matter how hard I try, one thing eludes me from cooking."

"Which is . . ?"

" Curry."

The was a very pregnant pause.

Allen, who's features remained a steady pleased look, watched as Shion sat quietly, putting the fork down. Inside he was laughing himself, for he could see her eyes dancing and misting over, and her tight lipped smile was twitching at the corners. Oh this was going to be fun. Playful torment was always fun.

Shion, the poor thing, who'd tried so hard to keep her promise was on the verge of bursting over. She did not want to hurt his feelings, nor wound her own pride as aforementioned. Yet it seemed things were not going her way, and Allen spoke up again, it was becoming too much.

" Yup. Curry. You'd never think it, being it's Curry, but no matter what, I can't seem to cook Curry."

Shion could not move. She mentally yelled at him to stop. Calm blue ocean... Calm - At this point Allen had his hand resting on his chin, looking all the more dignified.

" Curry."

" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Shion burst over laughing, leaning back against the seat holding her sides.

" See! I knew it, you're laughing at me!" He gave a mock pout.

" No-I'm sor-it's just-Curry-so simple-" She worked in between fits of giggles, breathing and laughter.

" And now there you go mocking me!" Again the mock pout.

" I'm sor-sorry-I-don't mean-so-"

" Yeah sure." Allen pushed the drink to her, which she readily accepted.

Taking a long drink, she calmed down considerable, and was able to retain coherent speech.

" Oh my." she breath out, and took another sip.

Allen was too tempted to let that one go so easily. This was too much of a good thing to have - when had it been since it'd been anything like this? No, he'd hold out for as much as he could. Times like this were much too precious.

" Curry."

" Mm!" Shion's shoulders shook and she slammed the cup down on the table, wiping away the tea that hand managed to make its way down, or up, the wrong tubes.

" Stop that!" Shion swatted at her company, who easily evaded the wrath.

She took a napkin to wiped her face, exhaling forcefully a few times.

" Sorry. . I didn't know that would happen. Though I couldn't resist."

" Very cute. Let's see how you like it the next time I make you my target in the test field."

" Fair enough."

" Despite that, I haven't laughed like that in a long time. It felt good."

" ' I am happy to be of service.' " Allen quoted in his best deadpan voice.

Shion threw her napkin at him in reply.

" Thank you for letting me have the rest of this. I was a bit hungry; and thanks for. . .well, the other."

" You're welcome."

It was then that Shion noticed something that had slipped her notice until then.

" Are you wearing one of Tony's shirts?"

Allen, being oblivious to a war, let alone his cloths when Shion was present, felt a faint blush cross his cheeks.

" Yeah, well. . .I'm not going to sleep in my uniform, and it's not like we really have anything else to choose from. There's been too much going on that we haven't had time to really 'shop', so to say."

" True. Well, it looks nice. A little big though."

Allen rubbed the back of his neck.

" Yeah, he's got the muscles to fill it out. The most common reason why they call them muscle-shirts. Go figure. T-Thank you."

" Right. But at least you have the common sense of knowing not to be a macho dimwit with women."

" You have no idea." He slipped.

" Oh?" She rose an eyebrow.

" A-Ah, nothing! I mean-you know-ah, well hey, you go ahead and finish up here and I'll see you in the morning."

" I'm pretty much finished, and don't think you can dance around that one."

" Well watch me! Good night!"

Allen slid up from the both and grabbed the towel long forgotten. He got half way to the door before being pulled back in his steps. The hanging towel was being grasped by an increasingly intense young woman.

' Towel, you traitor!'

" Allen, you tell me what you meant. It's something too interesting to pass up to know."

" Alright, Alright. I'll tell you."

" Good." Shion let the towel go.

Allen stepped closer, registering that he was, in fact, about two inches in height from her. He'd been mulling that around in his head lately. No particular reason-

" Allen?" She spoke, grinning a little.

" What I meant was. . ."

Shion waited...

" Curry."

Shion blinked for a moment, and realized she'd just been had.

" Allen you-!" Allen had already turned and booked it out the door.

She chuckled slightly to herself, and turned to clean up the rest of what was left.

- - Xenosaga - -

MOMO woke from her slumber abruptly; huffing and shaking a little. She looked around quickly to get her bearings and noticed she was in a bed aboard the Elsa. Gathers up her blankets she wrapped them around her in a buddle. If it wasn't for the fact she was a bit shaken by her nightmare, she could be seen as 'cute' at the moment. The images washed over her mind like flashes before some of them began to fade away; images of things that frightened her and made her long for the companionship of another individual. Upon looking to the bed across from her, she noted the occupant was no longer sleeping there. She briefly wondered where Shion would have gone to, and if she was alright, but calmed a bit at the silence of the ship. No blaring alarms were sounding, so more than likely the older woman had gotten up for personal reasons.

In an effort of comfort, MOMO began to run her hand along the bracelet she received from Jr. The semi warm chain was soothing to her, and helped her find more peace from her dark dreams. After a few moments, MOMO lay back down in bed, still rubbing the jewelry smoothly, and gazing at the bed above her. Things would get better, she knew that. But when would they? She began to pull the covers over her, when she heard the door open and shut. Shion must have made it back by now. Watching the woman for a moment, MOMO began to form a question in her mind.

" Oh MOMO, I'm sorry if I woke you." Shion said quietly, as she sat on her own bed.

" It's ok; I was already awake."

" Oh. Do you need something?"

" I'm fine. I just needed a moment to think."

Shion smiled lightly.

" I know the filling."

MOMO turned to Shion.

" Shion, is it bad to rely on things like objects?"

Shion blinked a moment, then began to speak.

" Not entirely. I feel that sometimes, personal items or possessions tend to hold hidden energies, or strengths that we may at times need."

"Hmm."

" However, at the sad time, while it's ok to feel this, you should never rely on something so completely. Use it with you own strengths. You know?"

" Yeah. I see what you mean." MOMO smiled slightly.

Shion couldn't help but smile back at the young one.

" Though look who's talking. I should take my own advice once in a while."

MOMO looked at Shion with puzzlement. Shion then, at first hesitantly, but then more sure, brought her hands to the back of her neck. MOMO wasn't sure what she was doing until she noticed Shion's necklace sag slightly. Her yellow eyes widened.

" I've relied on this too much. It's time I start relying more on me."

Shion placed the necklace onto her nightstand.

" You're not throwing it away are you?" MOMO spoke awed. She's never known the woman to remove that necklace; it was like a sacred object.

" No, never. However I will always wear it when I need my boost of strength. And besides, I could kink the chain if I keep sleeping with it on." Shion gave a half grin to the realien.

MOMO smiled in return, and found herself yawn in sleepiness.

"Get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

" Ok. Night night Shion."

"Good night, MOMO." Shion nodded, and moved under her own covers.

She took a moment to look at the jewelry on the stand. To her, it was a rather big step; to many, it was nothing. Either way, she felt both naked and free without it on. Where this thought process had come from, she didn't know. However she was certain of one thing.

" Tomorrows a new day."

With that, Shion turned over, and fell into a warm peaceful sleep.

At least…. At first.


	3. Time Heals All but One

Wow.. How long has this been? Well, due to Xenosaga III totally kicking ass, it has jolted me into chapter three of my brainchild SoaL. Now that III has come and gone, for myself, I can incorporate new things and new ideas into it. So basically, from chapter 2 to this chapter, there's gonna be a hella time jump. Yet do not despair, I will go back every now and again. So anywho, here we go.

**WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS FROM XENOSAGA III – DO NOT GO FURTHER IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO BE SPOILED! **

_ Two years, long they may have been, had past for our heroic group of individuals. During this time, many events transpired to cause life to turn itself on end. _

_ Shion Uzuki, who upon learning the dark secrets Vector held, had promptly quit her job, and took up working with the organization Scientia. It was a sudden and rash decision she had made. Her fellow co-works were surprised and dishearten. Miyuki Itsumi had been sad at first, but through the six months of Shion's absence, Miyuki began secretly helping her former Chief out with Scienta jobs. _

_ Allen Ridgeley, who was secretly crushed at his chief's decision, became the new Chief of Vector's First R&D division. While he was happy Shion felt he was the best to head KOS-MOS's project, he was utterly saddened at her leave._

_Elsewhere, the others we've come to know and love were also going about their own business. _

_ MOMO was now living with her mother, Juli Mizrahi, along with Ziggy. Ziggy was still assigned to Juli as to his prior agreement a few years earlier._

_Jr. was once again taking responsibilities of the Kukai Foundation._

_chaos had joined his fellow Elsa crew again for some light flight._

_Jin Uzuki was busying himself at home._

_ After a series of tribulations, the gang found itself once again gathered to fight in the name of justice. However, they had no idea what the extent of this final fight would be. As it turned out, it was a fight to save the very universe from un-creation._

_ Wilhelm, the mastermind behind almost every organization, and sub plot point, wished to activate Zarathustra – a device left by God (whom was now know to be U-DO) as a failsafe to restart the universe, should it be a horrible one. Wilhelm wished this, for the universe was quickly coming to an annihilating ending within the next thousand years._

_ KOS-MOS, who's harbored the will of Mary Magdalene; and her counterpart T-Elos, who' body was Mary's – fought a pitched battle. KOS-MOS came out victorious after a few defeats, and absorbed T-Elos. Shion, who was the Maiden, and keeper of the Key, to activate Zarathustra, underwent emotional and physical trauma. She had learned she was the one to call the Gnosis to Miltia; she learned Kevin was still living; she learned what all Kevin and Wilhelm had done. _

_ At one point, Shion almost lost herself – almost gave herself to Kevin. He had promised to save her from death. However, with words of love and faith, her friends lead her back to the light; back to herself. _

_ After a glorious battle, Shion and company needed to escape. Nephilim and chaos were going to use the Zohar to carry the souls of the willing back to creation; to Lost Jeruselum. KOS-MOS stayed behind as well, to lean her will and her help to keep the two safe while they prepared. With a teary goodbye, the now smaller group left in what remained of Asher, and headed back for the Elsa. _

_ Upon getting to the dock, Jin insisted he needed to help chaos and KOS-MOS. With a heartfelt goodbye, he bid his friends and sister the best, and turned back to help his comrades. The others made it back to the Elsa safely._

_ As it stands now, chaos and nephilim's actions caused most all U.M.N columns to be destroyed. Life was now a bit harsher than before, with a chunked loss of technology._

_Shion had promised to find chaos and KOS-MOS at Lost Jeruselum._

_ MOMO had wished to go, but remained behind to help Scientia rebuild the new UMN colums. Ziggy stayed behind as well, to take care of the Mizrahi girls._

_Taking the Elsa, Jr, Shion and Allen were the ones remaining to make the untimely journey. _

_A journey home._

- - Xenosaga - -  
_In the Shadows of a Lie_

Due to exhaustion and a slight bit of fatigue, sleep had claimed Allen quickly. He'd been laying in bed, wondering what to was to happen now. He could vaguely recall the memories he had of past years, being on the Elsa; in the same bed. His body still ached a bit from being tossed like a rag doll through the air.

' No thanks to you , Kevin.' He thought dryly.  
' What power do I have..?' He growled that thought to him self.

Though just shortly afterwards, his body and mind challenged his lack of sleep and betrayed him to the land of dreams.

He slept soundly, yet murmured quietly every now and again.  
- - - -

Healthy trees stood among luscious grasses; and mountains and hills could be seen in the distance. The sky was of a purest blue, and only a few clouds graced across it lazily. He was there, and not there. It was like watching a movie play out, yet you were in it. This became apparent when he saw a man walking towards a tree. Upon further study, he realized it was himself.

Allen registered a little shock upon seeing himself there, looking to be a few years older. How many years he couldn't tell exactly. He was transfixed as seeing himself older, seemingly more confident. Something about his other seemed more purposeful.

From the corner of his vision, he noticed something dash out from behind the tree, and grapple his older self's leg. Slight fear began to arise until his older self grabbed the figure and lifted it up high in the air. He twirled around a few times and then brought it back down, and close to his chest.

Allen began to calm, and was starting to feel alright, until the realization of what the figure was hit him. _It was a child. His child! _It looked to be 3 years old. He couldn't tell if it was a boy or girl.

In his excitement, he missed another figure walking slowly towards them. It was an older woman, probably just a few years shy of his older self. She was trim, yet had a bit of weight. Her hair was a medium length of brown and highlights of blonde. She wore a smile of love and care...  
And her eyes were a pure bluish green -

Allen's breath held.

Those eyes...

" Shi...Shion.."

And with that, his dream world went black.

**- - Xenosaga - -**

Once again, she found herself in that same dark damp place. Once again, she felt afraid; a jolt of terror running down her spine. She never knew why she felt this way. Two years ago, while on the Elsa no less, she had first had this dream. She couldn't remember how it started; she had thought it had to do with the meal she had eaten before hand, one Allen had cooked, but that was not the case when she had the dream again, a year previous.

Once again, here she was. An unknown place filled with unknown terror. She could just barley make out the scenery. It was a dreary destroyed forest. It looked as if a war had happened here. And not too much further, she stopped and stared at what she knew would be before her.

A large dark lake.

The waters never moved in this lake. They were black with reminisces of the battle that waged here. To her right was a shabby looking pier. However, her gaze did not last long. Something was coming after her. She didn't know what, but it scared the living hell out of her.

Scrambling over to the pier, she began to back up on it. Whatever was coming after her seems to slow its chase. Half way across the pier, she turned back, and saw her pursuer. The figure was human. The figure was also carrying something that looked like a weapon. Slowly the figure advanced, and slowly she backed up. Further and further, step by step, she walked backwards towards the end of the dock. At one point the figure darted forward and raised its arm. She cried out as her last step hit air, and she fell backwards, plunging into the black waters.

Shion felt herself sink deeper and deeper. She knew struggling was futile, be she did anyway. Shion felt herself reaching out; clawing the waters for anything to cling on, and hoist herself up. The only she found was what she bumped into from behind. Turning in her fit for salvation, her sight landed upon the body of a young boy. Shion cried out, losing her oxygen. Only a few seconds, and this would be over.

Yet something happened this time that had not before.

The boy's eyes flashed open. Pure crystal blue eyes met Shion's aqua green. For a moment, what remained of Shion's sanity caught the red that flashed through the boy's eyes, before his little hand grabbed onto her arm, and he spoke.

" _Help me!"_

Shion awoke with a start. She panted slightly as if she had been suffocating.

Calming herself down, she looked around her vicinity. She was in the woman's quarters of the Elsa, in the same bed she had taken previous years aboard the familiar ship. Seeing her two roommates, Mary and Shelly, sound asleep reassured Shion she'd not caused them any commotions.

Feeling a bit more relaxed, Shion rested her head on her arms, propped up by her knees.

' _Why do I keep having this dream?'_ She thought to herself.  
' _Everything should be over… so why am I still getting this cryptic thing?'_

Truly, Shion had thought her dream, this one in particular, had been connected to events she thought would reveal themselves during the whole escapade with Wilhelm and KOS-MOS. However, it was not to be true.

" I don't understand it." She muttered to herself lightly. Reflecting back, the image of the boy came to her mind. Those eyes, and that pleading look, shook her to the core. She didn't understand why, and it frustrated her.

Though she would never openly admit it, at least not yet, being able to talk to someone at this point would help keep her reassured. However, Shion was fairly sure that someone just happened to be sleeping himself. Sighing lightly, she snuggled back into bed. She let herself imagine being held in a warm and loving embrace. It gave her a bit of comfort. Shion felt herself chuckled lightly, and her cheeks dance with a flutter of warmth.

Said someone would probably never think she'd be thinking such a thing. Yet is was true.

' _Oh how I miss being held. Then again, perhaps I don't have to miss it.'_ A smile slowly crept to her face, before she rolled her eyes and threw her blanket over her head.  
' _For god sake, Shion, you're a grown woman. Stop acting like a teenager with a crush.'_

However, try as she might, she could stop fidgeting with ideas to drive said someone insane. With that on her mind, she fell back into a much peacefully sleep. One of taunts and teases, but lined with happiness.

- - Xenosaga - -

_**Dark black emptiness was all the child knew.  
**_**_A young boy, all alone, amongst an ongoing existence of blackness.  
__Despair, Angst, Grief, Sorrow._**

_**These were the confines of darkness trapping the boy. However the biggest shackle to the youth was pure Terror.**_

_**He sat with his knees drawn up to his chest, and his arms across his knees. His head was resting against his forearms. His orange hair was blotched with blood. His face was obscured as he cried silently to himself.  
**__**A sound resonated out from the darkness. It came small and quiet, and came in a set of two.  
**_**_It sounded like steps – echoing through an empty chamber.  
__The boy looked up. No one had ever entered his prisonous sanctuary._**

_**The figure came up to him, and its form was revealed in what little light was given. It was another boy. He looked about the same age, and appeared about the same height.**_

_**Sapphire blue eyes met tear stricken sapphire blue eyes.**_

_**The standing boy huffed. He pushed the single stand of dark blue hair away from his face, only for it to fall back into place. The rest waved behind his ears.**_

**' _I'm coming back, you know.'_**

_**The orange hair boy gritted his teeth and his eyes narrowed just a little; though his right eye looked a bit swollen already.**_

**' _There is something I must do. It's important. The universe you want so much will need it.'_**

_**Wiping his eye dry, the other boy stood.**_

**' _How did you get here?'_**

_**The blue eyed, blue haired boy narrowed his eyes a little.**_

**' _You're so pathetic. What I need to do is important. I'm coming back, no matter what it takes; even if I have to go through you.'_**

_**Eyes wide with shock, the orange hair boy shrieked.**_

**" _GO AWAY!"_**

_**Throwing his arms back, a wave of light red energy pulsed out at the other boy. However, the blue hair boy simply lifts a hand, and broke its hit.**_

**' _Fine. I will for now, baby.'_**

_**With that, he stepped back into the darkness, his steps growing fainter. However, as he left, his final words carried with them a heavy weight.**_

**' _After all, I'm already here in the darkness. I'll be watching you…and waiting.'_**

_**The orange haired boy stood his ground, eyes wide with fear. No longer could he sit and cry, for now, every moment he was being watched, he felt his life in danger.**_

- - Xenosaga - -

Warm water cascaded down in little waterfalls over delicate flesh. Steam arose from the water constantly jetting out from the showerhead above. Conditioner that had been worked into rich pink hair now rinsed out and mixed with the draining waters. Amber eyes opened and searched for fruit scented body wash to apply as the final touch.

MOMO Mizarhi, as was now her official name, gently smoothed the tropical scented agent along her body. While she enjoyed the times of quiet piece that accompanied her in the bath, this eve was lack luster at best. Her movements were mechanically; not by her nature as a Realian, but at she had her mind on other things.

Other _people_, that is.

Though it had only been about a week since the group departed, the events were still as fresh as if they'd happened earlier that day. Reality was slowly starting to sink in among everyone over events that happened, and events to come. Things were sluggish at the current moment, but MOMO had hope they would eventually pick up speed.

MOMO had hope for many things; one being to see her friends again soon.

She stepped back under the warm water, and let it trace her body down for a while. She leaned against the wall and let out a sigh. There were a few things she had wanted to say to Shion and Jr. before they departed, but she had been shy in saying them. It was funny she could still be so shy among her close friends. Part of her knew, though, that some of the things she wished to say to Jr. had reason to make her shy. It was a moment in which she'd wanted to say it, but yet, figured she'd say it when he came back.

Yet, MOMO had no idea when that would be.

" We all… have things we must do. I have to make sure…" She spoke quietly to herself.  
" I have to make sure you have a way home." MOMO smiled to herself.

Leaned back up, she tapped the control and the shower shut itself off. Stepping out, she grabbed her towel and began rubbing her self dry; ruffling her hair in the process. As she was in mid ruffle, she caught her reflection in the full length mirror on the opposite wall. MOMO walked over to it and stood a moment, gazing at her body.

In just a year's time, she had slowly matured into a beautiful young woman. She could tell she was still growing, and imaged what she would look like a bit older. Indeed her body was a bit longer, and taller than it had been, but she knew she'd always be petite in size. She ran a hand through her hair, and noticed her pink shade was getting a tint darker. It was still really pink, but now it was become more aesthetically pleasing. Her skin was still the same tone, and still had great complexion.

She rested a hand gently on her lower abdomen, just about where a woman's uterus would be. She smiled for a moment and remembered some information she had found out about herself. While the group had been inside that reconstructed Miltia, MOMO had seen her father as we was when he lived. She even helped assist him in her own creation. She'd learned he'd loved her dearly and was so happy. She had also gotten to take a peek at some of her own files. This is where she learned what her father had extended in his creation of her.

MOMO had learned that it was possible for her to have a child.

A few drops of water trickled down her shoulder and chest in a sign that her hair was still wet. She broken her train of thought and went back to her previous actions. As it was early evening, she had the rest of the day to herself after working all afternoon. MOMO began dressing herself in her garments, and adorned a lovely little dress. It was mostly white, but had floral designs of red running all around and over it. She grabbed up a pair of shoes, a few odds and ends items, and finally, her hat.

" Can't keep them waiting; anything else?" She announced to herself, mental going over everything in her head.

When MOMO was satisfied she hadn't forgotten anything, she headed out the door of her room. She made her way swiftly to her destination, for she didn't want to keep her mother, Juli, and Ziggy waiting.

- - SoaL - - AN - -  
Alright! More action with other characters is in motion! Next chapter will go into more with MOMO, Juli, Ziggy. I might bring in Miyuki and a few others. I might even jump back into the past between chapters 2 and 3. Then there is Jr. to go into. So yeah, fret not. I'm going to try and keep this spaced and even for most parties. Obviously at some point, there will be some Original stuff popping up. So hope you enjoyed the long awaited 3rd chapter. Since Im Xeno-high right now, I might get chapter 4 out soon. Also, to those whoa re wondering, Chapter 4 of Learning to Live should be out sometime this week.


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